OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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