they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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