Porn is love you can see.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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