I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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