I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
