shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
