dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Your penis caused this!
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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