Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
