id be glad to
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
