I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize