thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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