i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize