got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
