Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
There r osticjed everywhere
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
