you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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