Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize