Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
