ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
