You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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