i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
