I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
