bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize