And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
