i barfeds in our rink
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
