I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize