Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
