I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Even my vagina gasped.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
