just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
