she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
