That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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