i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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