Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
