Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
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