Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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