I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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