Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I need to align my fucking chakras
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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