So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
