I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
