He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I AM VODKA MAN
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
