white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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