By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
