don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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