we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The uberlube is also flammable
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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