If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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