I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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