one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
