You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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