There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize