it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize