awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
