hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
