Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
