is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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