She said her name was "party"
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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