He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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