Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Randomize
