He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Randomize
